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blogging about my books

Bring On the Romance

Books Posted on Mon, April 27, 2015 16:16:13

The
overwhelming success of Fifty Shades of Grey has sparked a revolution in female
writers and readers joining the bandwagon of exploit novels. There is no doubt
women today are much more free to discuss the intricacies of desire and
relationships more than ever before and in some ways this is a great thing. But
the incredible rise to the heights of a novel based on the physical is a great
source of objective thinking and does it reflect the sign of our times?

Over
the years the greatest romantic novels and films have touched our hearts,
brought tears to our eyes and most of the time led to a fairy tale ending. Gone
with the Wind, Dr Zhivago, Wuthering Heights, Love Story are all past
successful epics of their time and beyond. They all have been threaded with the
same colour cotton, beautiful and sometimes sad or eventful stories intertwined
with heroines, heroes and a love line which beats up and down and round and
round. Centred around love and passion, they have brought to screen or book the
feeling that love is the defiant warrior and that it will survive somehow and in
some way. They also have been reflective of our way of thinking and society at
the time and how men and women view relationships. So is the romance of
partnerships something we do not get excited about anymore?

Deep
down most women want the same and few do not want the romance to go with the
good guy. Of course physical playtime and attraction are part of it but there
is also a great queue of women awaiting the rose on Valentine’s Day or the poem
filled card ,.And over time the male hero in stories has always been shown as a
little of the swashbuckling hero or the knight in shining armour. Films and
books where the man has whisked his girl from the depths of her poor life and
existence or have been portrayed as strong and ready to fight for her honour,
have captured the hearts of most with wistful sighs. The strangest thing is not all women nowadays
wish to admit it. In a world of powerful women rising in all career and society
areas, few women cite romance as the big attraction and yet will ooze
excitement over romantic extravaganzas such as George Clooney’s wedding, but not
the olden day Romeo, who will let nothing stand between him and his love .

Has
it resulted in confused men that they no longer know which direction to go?
They are surrounded in the media with women who have successful careers, who
earn fortunes and can easily fund their own shopping sprees and home ownership
and in the work place are shown to be powerful and equal in many places. We are
shown many more men taking on roles in society of house husbands and Mannie’s
(male nannies) more and more frequently?
Are the men now thinking with a more “equal” head got in their minds
that women do not want to be treated like princesses and showered with a wave
of impetuous and spontaneous gestures?

Have
they now become slightly hesitant and therefore they hang back and wait or cast
the thought aside that their partner would not enjoy such efforts or even worse
criticise their wayward thinking? Some romance and especially around wedding planning
is of course prevalent, but the confusion in how far it goes still remains
blurred.

Romance
is part of the courtship procedure, very often it is the little things which
become memorable in the later years and part of the growth together. It is
something to be celebrated and shared in every relationship. The evidence is
there as Scarlett O’Hara may have come across as a bit of a bossy boots, and
free and independent thinking woman, soon melts when her handsome suitor showed
his feelings openly. It is of course part of our world that women have
thankfully found a voice and are able to succeed and a lesson to be learnt and
treasured, but as in everything the balance between two people and
understanding what each other wants is
just as important. There are very few
women on the planet who will discard the gift of a surprise bouquet or even a
bunch of flowers from the supermarket, there are few women who do not wish to
be treated with respect and kindness and few who wish their partner to shy away
from opening a door, or arranging an unexpected trip away. It can always be
said that partnerships should grow together and be equal in many ways and if
the guys get the romance right, they may find they have become the hero of ages
past and that their princess in the tower will actually let her hair down much
more often than he has ever dreamt !



Life’s Surprises

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Wed, April 22, 2015 12:44:59

When
Life Takes You by Surprise

Sometimes
in life you think you have everything planned, you make a list, or organise an
event or even arrange a date in your diary, and out of the blue an unexpected
change happens and throws everything into disarray.

So
how do you deal with the unexpected? Life is never about one straight forward
pathway. We all tweet and twitter and Facebook our plans, that half the time
the whole world knows more about what we have planned than we do ourselves.
Plans for days off, holidays, or weekend activities, where we are going, who we
are seeing or meeting.

When
it comes to birthdays and Christmas or any time when someone gives you a gift
or a surprise reward do you mind if it pushes your plans off course? Getting a surprise
ticket to a live concert on the night when you had planned to sit and chill
wine in one hand and a rom com, doesn’t seem too bad when faced with the
alternative of pushing buttons on a cd player. But if the car breaks down or a
household item decides to blow up and needs repairing that same night we nearly
all feel the pains of upset. So nice surprises are welcomed, but any unexpected
events which cause us disappointment or a loss are the ones we deal with
differently. And surprise events can actually add to life making it less
predictable and more exciting. It is
always worth viewing them from both angles although at the time it may not be
that easy.

Some
people deal with the unexpected well, coping in a crisis, having a bus
timetable on hand when a car fails to start, or being able to look at the rainy
weather as a challenge to the picnic day and eagerly rushing to set up a gazebo
instead of sitting under the anticipated blue skies. They are not always
organised but they do have a less rigid way of life which means “expect the
eventuality which may throw your plans out the window and find an alternative
without losing the original track”. You have to admire these sorts of people as
most of their life is a wealth of “alternatives” and they do have a more
relaxed attitude to life because of it, affecting other areas of their lives as
well.

Others flap into an almighty overload and rant and rave and feel that the whole
event is totally ruined and cannot possibly be overcome. They also very often
try to find someone or something to blame rather than dealing with the change
in circumstances. These people tend to have a low stress barrier and resort to
panic rather than logic allowing the unexpected to be an issue and usually end
up wasting time in dismay rather than putting an alternative plan into action.

Whether
you were a girl guide or not and managed to carry on “being prepared” through life’s’
ups and downs, by the time you get to a certain age your mind has well become
accustomed to the idea that nothing is completely guaranteed, and that there
will always be hurdles. How you deal with them is always the key point. The
pros of being calm, taking the matter in hand and looking for the alternative
is a good way of looking at any situation. Without taking the preparations of
“just in case” too far, it is better to deal with your attitude when faced with
an unexpected change. Sometimes a quiet count of one to ten can work wonders,
or a deep breathing moment will calm you into a sense of logic rather than
emotion and you can proceed to work through the panicking moment.

Is
it life changing? Will it cause a global breakdown; will you or anyone else
really suffer due to the unexpected? More often than not the answer is no, and
for those events, there is always an alternative.

Less
time spent in the disappointment mood, will bring quicker and more positive
results and resolves.

So
do you flap and find an unexpected surprise too much to cope with and find
yourself in a heap without a hope of calmness? Or are you controlled, calm and
collected in your thoughts with a carefree spirit?

How
do you personally deal with the unexpected?



Relationship with Food

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Sat, January 24, 2015 10:49:57

Free from all waste and poison, when no solid food has been taken for some time, one’s body functions without obstruction and one feels a surge of vitality through out one’s own system.

Stop to smell the roses, appreciate your surroundings, realise you live in a great place with interesting and eccentric people.

Appreciate your differences because we are all subtly different which is why we are so great (Humans).

Allow Religion to be guiding only, to give a focus to work towards for a better you, and to encourage love and peace to all peoples.

Now I will be turning my thoughts to writing a sequel to my last book in case it travels to Hollywood

Foley



Over Thinking

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Wed, January 14, 2015 17:03:52

The Dangers of
Over-thinking

The mind is like a
monkey, as mind-genius Alan Watts said. It’s darting from the
present to the future, and constantly dipping into the past, and this running
around requires our thoughts. Thoughts are how we interact with our
aspirations, fantasies, and memories, and can be wonderful bridges into all-consuming
feelings of joy or sadness. Thoughts can also be the building blocks to complex
stories and designs, but no matter where they lead, it’s important to
remember that one is still their author.

The pace of 21st
century living often grabs one’s attention and takes it away from the
origins of one’s thoughts. When one is carrying five bags of shopping that threaten to
split by the time one finds one’s car keys, it’s difficult to
pause and grasp where one’s mind is leading one’s emotions, and one could get angry. Why does this always happen to
me? I should have done this differently.

The world is so
annoying.
This is an
unconscious over-thinking, which is difficult to be fully aware of.

How can one recognise,
reflect on, and eventually regulate what feels like bubbles of words that flow
by as if from an unreachable tap. Eventually they form an ocean that threatens
to slosh around and churn up repetitive thoughts.

Our minds are
intelligent machines, so why would they flood our thoughts with negativity? Our
brains are wired for self-preservation, and will inject our thoughts with
worries and concerns to help us realise and overcome danger. The problem is,
minds aren’t geared towards modern problems. They’re more built for screaming at harmful situations and telling one to
run from the dark. They get stuck on the complexities of a relationship or the
bumps of modern day living. In the dark our minds tint our thoughts with added
dangers, a throwback to when we had to be cautious about predators. But nobody
is hunting us now. It’s just that nobody can tell our minds. Or
can we?

The answer is also the
problem. The key way our minds protect us is to teach us how to think. They can’t actively put caution in every new-born thought, so it trains us to do
it for them. By repeatedly following the same patterns of thought, these
patterns become deep rooted grooves that channel our thoughts in a cautious,
sometimes pessimistic, direction. So the way out of these grooves is to
recognise and examine their effects. Some people consider themselves naturally
unlucky, and joke that things will probably go bad no matter the circumstances.
It’s more a case of their minds telling them to mentally prepare for the
worst, just in case. Unchecked, these thoughts can directly lead to depression
and anxiety.

Once you’re aware of them it’s more possible to dig the grooves in a
more positive direction. So, Why does this always happen to me? because well,
this is annoying, but understandable. The plastic bags are thin and not
designed for heavy weight, and this happens to a lot of people.
It changes
from a generalised accusation, to a more balanced statement.

Be kind on your mind,
it’s only trying to protect you. Critical thoughts are
essential in life, it’s just the quantity and power of them that
needs to be watched. The most important thing to remember is that negative
thoughts tend to flood, whereas positive, beneficial ones tend to feel at the
front of one’s mind. Here’s the danger of conscious over-thinking—
it feeds the over-cautious
tendency of thoughts, and when you’re putting energy into thinking over a
certain issue, it allows them to multiply.

Listen to those
easily-overshadowed thoughts that aren’t touched by over-thinking. There’s a reason why people often return to their gut feeling when trying to
decide a big issue.



G.L.T.L.l

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Tue, June 03, 2014 15:30:58

Give but don’t allow yourself to be used, Love but don’t allow your heart to be abused,

Trust but don’t be naïve, Listen to others but don’t lose your own voice.

Life is quite short, so Love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don’t.

Leave Haters to be themselves, you will not make a determined hater love you, no matter what you do.

Try your best in all you do and you will find life can be great.



Marriages & Relationsips

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Wed, March 05, 2014 14:18:42

Should you only marry your own kind? There are arguments for both sides in my estimation, but the real answer is NO.

Marriage is about the coming together of two people who love each other for themselves, not their race, their colour, their wealth or lack of it. Relationships, what ever the make up of it will survive if They show respect for one another, If they apologise when wrong and accept apology quickly when given, If they strive to always tell each other the truth, If they show each other respect and If they can help it, Not raise their voices to each other and to think before they speak.

A marriage is
supposed to be made in heaven but if it is to work in the 21st Century it has
to allow both partners to discover their inner potential rather than being
merely an institution for living together and raising children,

The best marriages
are probably better today than at any time in history because spouses are
looking for something other than simply sharing the same home, a goal which
would have been acceptable a century or
more ago, but now couples are also looking for a spiritual connection, with similar goals and ambitions which they describe as
finding their soul mates.

All couples argue, and some disagreements may not
be bad for building a relationship. But when arguments become heated, that’s
when blame, criticism and name-calling comes out, sometimes unintentionally. And
too much of that isn’t as good for marital happiness, as plenty of research
show

Women take more responsibility for emotional harmony in a marriage.

It’s important for partners to realise they have a lot of emotional influence on each other. There are two people in this dance, but women may have to take the first step to show him the way and other things will follow.”

This may be something that husbands and wives know intuitively, but now there’s science to back up these hunches





A Chance

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Fri, February 28, 2014 11:41:05

The quality of mercy is not strained,

It drops as the gentle rain from
heaven

Upon the place beneath: it is twice
blest;

It blesses him that gives and him
that takes:

IT is the mightiest of the mightiest: it
becomes

the throned monarch better than his
crown;

His sceptre shows the force of
temporal power,

The
attribute to awe and majesty,

Wherein
sits the worry and fear of kings;

But mercy is
above this sceptred sway;

It is
enthroned in the hearts of kings,

It is an
attribute to God himself;

And earthly
power then show likeness to God’s

When mercy
seasons justice.

Therefore if law is all we cling to with no mercy or

kindness, then none of us should see
salvation:

We do pray for mercy; And that
same prayer does teach us

all to render The deeds of mercy to everyone.

William Shakespeare



Do you have a purse full of Loyalty Cards?

Personal Posted on Fri, February 07, 2014 11:55:33

If you tipped your purse out would
you be surprised at how may Loyalty Cards you have collected over the
years? But do you actually use them to
their full potential and do you actually know what it means when you do use
them. I think the answer you would come
up with would be no to both questions.
Don’t worry you are not alone.

With points, rewards and cash-back schemes being offered by all the major department stores, supermarkets and a
variety of other big brand chains we need a bag just for all the loyalty cards
on offer. Have you ever been behind
someone paying for their goods and watch them route for a handful of cards
before they find that shops loyalty card.
Have you been ‘that’ person? I am
guessing you can answer yes to both too.

These are the regular ‘Loyalty Cards’
that have found their way into my purse and out of the eight above two don’t
get used, four occasionally, with the other two on a weekly basis. Do I know what perks they can offer me – yes I
have a fair idea of most of them. So let’s
take a look at the ones that deserve to take up room in my purse.

Boots Advantage Card allows you to collect
4 points for every £1 you spend and the points you accumulate can pay for future
purchases. Not a regular Boots shopper
but over time my points do build up, and especially around Christmas shopping
time and I normally find I can treat myself to a little something special once
the New Year starts.

Tesco Clubcard have a variety of
options to gain points with purchasing in store and online being the best way
to collect points at 1 point per £1 spent.
You can also collect points on fuel although you only get 1 point for
every £2 you spend. Points are converted
into clubcard vouchers and you can use instore, or turn into days out vouchers,
cinema tickets, or vouchers to eat out.
I think I have used my Tesco Clubcard vouchers for most things and definitely
worth collecting if you have children and like the zoo.

Nectar Card works similarly to Boots
Advantage Card and can be used in Sainsbury’s, Homebase, Ebay and British
Gas. Mine gets used solely for Sainsbury’s
where you get 2 points per £1 spent in store and online. Points add up to a cash total with 200 points
equalling £1 and my points are being saved to use at Christmas, and something I
am sure many customers decide to do.

Costa Coffee allows you to collect five
points for every £1 you spend, with each point being worth a penny and can be
used for future coffee and cake treats.
Whenever a shopping trip is arranged there is always a visit to Costa
Coffee, so for me this one has to stay.

Why not take a look at what is in
your purse and see if they should stay or go and make room for a loyalty card
that is going to be worth carrying around.



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