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Foley's blogs

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blogging about my books

Price of Fame

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Thu, May 14, 2015 23:12:24

The glorious trend of talent
shows to our screens is an amazing and exciting revolution, whole countries,
genders, ages, and groups get caught up in the celebrity fever which takes over
when these events are being broadcast and there is no doubt they have brought
in many a pretty penny to the organisers and other stars involved in the

Many people view these
programs with different eyes. Some see them as a lot of people clinging to
their ideal of fame and fortune, some see them as a waste of time, and some
people will defiantly switch off so as not to be included in the sheep growing
herds following these programs. However the program designers have become more
and more confident and ploughed more and more money into these events knowing
that as people, we love watching other people. We do get a bit of a giggle when
things do not go according to plan, or an act obviously appeared to be so much
better in their sitting room singing into a long handled broom, but there is no
doubt it is an opening of our eyes to the fact that the world is full of
amazing gifted and talented people.

But there is a downside as
well, sometimes the young or fragile who sang or performed quite happily to
family and friends are not always prepared or ready to take on global mass
attention and it can produce long term damage psychologically. It is
understandable that over a short period of time, the supermarket worker who
suddenly finds themselves under the viewing of millions and performing to
thousands of applauding fans can falter in disbelief. The price of fame does come heavy, it can
destroy old friendships, families, and futures, it can take over a life and
sweep those involved along in a fantastical way in complete contrast to what
they have been used to and that is even before the press and paparazzi get

Suddenly from packing
someone’s bags as they leave the shop, or checking out a loose spark plug in a
mechanics world, they are spotlighted and their lives are in every media outlet
from newspaper to online. Every event they are involved in, every venture from
their homes they make, every action they do is watched and taken by the ever
hungry throng of journalists and sensationalised. Whoever cared before if you
bought your pasta at the little corner shop down the road? Whoever asked you
did you buy your underwear from Marks and Spencer or John Lewis? Such trivialities
of life which were private and in some ways totally not anyone else’s business
suddenly are projected to world fame along with your picture. Hiding becomes a
very serious option.

Friends from the past can
become envious and suddenly reveal their deepest darkest secrets, unheard of
relatives arrive out of the blue to comment on the close relationship they had
with you as a child, when they had only ever seen you at family weddings and
funerals. People who you have known well suddenly eye you as a cash machine and
not the person who shared a glass of wine or two with them on a night out in
the local pub. The expectation of what you should and shouldn’t be doing
becomes a blurred line and it is all of this that is secondary to the
appearance on stage the very first time, or the signing with a Publisher who
gave you an advance for your first book. For the lucky winner they trade
something in their life, they have to be strong minded and determined and take
on not only a new found career but a new life. They need to be prepared for
criticism and spitefulness, and in some cases may even need protection.

Of course the niceties
outweigh a lot of the negatives which is why people still do it, there is the
money security and the acclamations and the feeling of success at something
they love. Interestingly a class of children were asked what they would like to
be when they grew up and over half of them were enthusiastic in their response
of “a celebrity”. In the world today the rise of such success has now in some
of our children’s minds become a career prospect.

The money making wheels keep
on turning, the viewers keep viewing and for a long while ahead it seems talent
shows are here to stay. Everyone who steps out on that stage, who fills in
their application form or who dreams of transition from dancing in front of the
mirror to performing all over the world, should remember the price of fame, it
is not always a bargain to be gained.

Life’s Surprises

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Wed, April 22, 2015 12:44:59

Life Takes You by Surprise

in life you think you have everything planned, you make a list, or organise an
event or even arrange a date in your diary, and out of the blue an unexpected
change happens and throws everything into disarray.

how do you deal with the unexpected? Life is never about one straight forward
pathway. We all tweet and twitter and Facebook our plans, that half the time
the whole world knows more about what we have planned than we do ourselves.
Plans for days off, holidays, or weekend activities, where we are going, who we
are seeing or meeting.

it comes to birthdays and Christmas or any time when someone gives you a gift
or a surprise reward do you mind if it pushes your plans off course? Getting a surprise
ticket to a live concert on the night when you had planned to sit and chill
wine in one hand and a rom com, doesn’t seem too bad when faced with the
alternative of pushing buttons on a cd player. But if the car breaks down or a
household item decides to blow up and needs repairing that same night we nearly
all feel the pains of upset. So nice surprises are welcomed, but any unexpected
events which cause us disappointment or a loss are the ones we deal with
differently. And surprise events can actually add to life making it less
predictable and more exciting. It is
always worth viewing them from both angles although at the time it may not be
that easy.

people deal with the unexpected well, coping in a crisis, having a bus
timetable on hand when a car fails to start, or being able to look at the rainy
weather as a challenge to the picnic day and eagerly rushing to set up a gazebo
instead of sitting under the anticipated blue skies. They are not always
organised but they do have a less rigid way of life which means “expect the
eventuality which may throw your plans out the window and find an alternative
without losing the original track”. You have to admire these sorts of people as
most of their life is a wealth of “alternatives” and they do have a more
relaxed attitude to life because of it, affecting other areas of their lives as

Others flap into an almighty overload and rant and rave and feel that the whole
event is totally ruined and cannot possibly be overcome. They also very often
try to find someone or something to blame rather than dealing with the change
in circumstances. These people tend to have a low stress barrier and resort to
panic rather than logic allowing the unexpected to be an issue and usually end
up wasting time in dismay rather than putting an alternative plan into action.

you were a girl guide or not and managed to carry on “being prepared” through life’s’
ups and downs, by the time you get to a certain age your mind has well become
accustomed to the idea that nothing is completely guaranteed, and that there
will always be hurdles. How you deal with them is always the key point. The
pros of being calm, taking the matter in hand and looking for the alternative
is a good way of looking at any situation. Without taking the preparations of
“just in case” too far, it is better to deal with your attitude when faced with
an unexpected change. Sometimes a quiet count of one to ten can work wonders,
or a deep breathing moment will calm you into a sense of logic rather than
emotion and you can proceed to work through the panicking moment.

it life changing? Will it cause a global breakdown; will you or anyone else
really suffer due to the unexpected? More often than not the answer is no, and
for those events, there is always an alternative.

time spent in the disappointment mood, will bring quicker and more positive
results and resolves.

do you flap and find an unexpected surprise too much to cope with and find
yourself in a heap without a hope of calmness? Or are you controlled, calm and
collected in your thoughts with a carefree spirit?

do you personally deal with the unexpected?

Relationship with Food

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Sat, January 24, 2015 10:49:57

Free from all waste and poison, when no solid food has been taken for some time, one’s body functions without obstruction and one feels a surge of vitality through out one’s own system.

Stop to smell the roses, appreciate your surroundings, realise you live in a great place with interesting and eccentric people.

Appreciate your differences because we are all subtly different which is why we are so great (Humans).

Allow Religion to be guiding only, to give a focus to work towards for a better you, and to encourage love and peace to all peoples.

Now I will be turning my thoughts to writing a sequel to my last book in case it travels to Hollywood


Over Thinking

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Wed, January 14, 2015 17:03:52

The Dangers of

The mind is like a
monkey, as mind-genius Alan Watts said. It’s darting from the
present to the future, and constantly dipping into the past, and this running
around requires our thoughts. Thoughts are how we interact with our
aspirations, fantasies, and memories, and can be wonderful bridges into all-consuming
feelings of joy or sadness. Thoughts can also be the building blocks to complex
stories and designs, but no matter where they lead, it’s important to
remember that one is still their author.

The pace of 21st
century living often grabs one’s attention and takes it away from the
origins of one’s thoughts. When one is carrying five bags of shopping that threaten to
split by the time one finds one’s car keys, it’s difficult to
pause and grasp where one’s mind is leading one’s emotions, and one could get angry. Why does this always happen to
me? I should have done this differently.

The world is so
This is an
unconscious over-thinking, which is difficult to be fully aware of.

How can one recognise,
reflect on, and eventually regulate what feels like bubbles of words that flow
by as if from an unreachable tap. Eventually they form an ocean that threatens
to slosh around and churn up repetitive thoughts.

Our minds are
intelligent machines, so why would they flood our thoughts with negativity? Our
brains are wired for self-preservation, and will inject our thoughts with
worries and concerns to help us realise and overcome danger. The problem is,
minds aren’t geared towards modern problems. They’re more built for screaming at harmful situations and telling one to
run from the dark. They get stuck on the complexities of a relationship or the
bumps of modern day living. In the dark our minds tint our thoughts with added
dangers, a throwback to when we had to be cautious about predators. But nobody
is hunting us now. It’s just that nobody can tell our minds. Or
can we?

The answer is also the
problem. The key way our minds protect us is to teach us how to think. They can’t actively put caution in every new-born thought, so it trains us to do
it for them. By repeatedly following the same patterns of thought, these
patterns become deep rooted grooves that channel our thoughts in a cautious,
sometimes pessimistic, direction. So the way out of these grooves is to
recognise and examine their effects. Some people consider themselves naturally
unlucky, and joke that things will probably go bad no matter the circumstances.
It’s more a case of their minds telling them to mentally prepare for the
worst, just in case. Unchecked, these thoughts can directly lead to depression
and anxiety.

Once you’re aware of them it’s more possible to dig the grooves in a
more positive direction. So, Why does this always happen to me? because well,
this is annoying, but understandable. The plastic bags are thin and not
designed for heavy weight, and this happens to a lot of people.
It changes
from a generalised accusation, to a more balanced statement.

Be kind on your mind,
it’s only trying to protect you. Critical thoughts are
essential in life, it’s just the quantity and power of them that
needs to be watched. The most important thing to remember is that negative
thoughts tend to flood, whereas positive, beneficial ones tend to feel at the
front of one’s mind. Here’s the danger of conscious over-thinking—
it feeds the over-cautious
tendency of thoughts, and when you’re putting energy into thinking over a
certain issue, it allows them to multiply.

Listen to those
easily-overshadowed thoughts that aren’t touched by over-thinking. There’s a reason why people often return to their gut feeling when trying to
decide a big issue.


Guiding Thoughts Posted on Tue, June 03, 2014 15:30:58

Give but don’t allow yourself to be used, Love but don’t allow your heart to be abused,

Trust but don’t be naïve, Listen to others but don’t lose your own voice.

Life is quite short, so Love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don’t.

Leave Haters to be themselves, you will not make a determined hater love you, no matter what you do.

Try your best in all you do and you will find life can be great.

Marriages & Relationsips

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Wed, March 05, 2014 14:18:42

Should you only marry your own kind? There are arguments for both sides in my estimation, but the real answer is NO.

Marriage is about the coming together of two people who love each other for themselves, not their race, their colour, their wealth or lack of it. Relationships, what ever the make up of it will survive if They show respect for one another, If they apologise when wrong and accept apology quickly when given, If they strive to always tell each other the truth, If they show each other respect and If they can help it, Not raise their voices to each other and to think before they speak.

A marriage is
supposed to be made in heaven but if it is to work in the 21st Century it has
to allow both partners to discover their inner potential rather than being
merely an institution for living together and raising children,

The best marriages
are probably better today than at any time in history because spouses are
looking for something other than simply sharing the same home, a goal which
would have been acceptable a century or
more ago, but now couples are also looking for a spiritual connection, with similar goals and ambitions which they describe as
finding their soul mates.

All couples argue, and some disagreements may not
be bad for building a relationship. But when arguments become heated, that’s
when blame, criticism and name-calling comes out, sometimes unintentionally. And
too much of that isn’t as good for marital happiness, as plenty of research

Women take more responsibility for emotional harmony in a marriage.

It’s important for partners to realise they have a lot of emotional influence on each other. There are two people in this dance, but women may have to take the first step to show him the way and other things will follow.”

This may be something that husbands and wives know intuitively, but now there’s science to back up these hunches

A Chance

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Fri, February 28, 2014 11:41:05

The quality of mercy is not strained,

It drops as the gentle rain from

Upon the place beneath: it is twice

It blesses him that gives and him
that takes:

IT is the mightiest of the mightiest: it

the throned monarch better than his

His sceptre shows the force of
temporal power,

attribute to awe and majesty,

sits the worry and fear of kings;

But mercy is
above this sceptred sway;

It is
enthroned in the hearts of kings,

It is an
attribute to God himself;

And earthly
power then show likeness to God’s

When mercy
seasons justice.

Therefore if law is all we cling to with no mercy or

kindness, then none of us should see

We do pray for mercy; And that
same prayer does teach us

all to render The deeds of mercy to everyone.

William Shakespeare

Atlantis – Merely Just A Myth

Guiding Thoughts Posted on Mon, January 27, 2014 11:38:35

What springs to
mind when you hear someone mention the word Atlantis? Do you conjure up images of underwater cities
and mythical characters or remember the latest TV or film to hit our screens
that depicts the lost city under the sea?
So is Atlantis merely just a myth or did this now submerged city once
look out over the ocean that surround it.

According to
Plato, one of the world’s best known philosophers, Atlantis was in fact a major
sea power located in the Atlantic. His
accounts included detailed descriptions of Atlantis, the mountains and plains
that surrounded the great city and its successful conquests of parts of Western
Europe and Africa. It is also believed,
after a failed attempt to invade Athens, Atlantis supposedly sank into the
ocean and has remained there ever since.

For many years
archaeologists, architects and scientists have tried to discover the exact
location of this missing city and searches have, with the help of the
information Plato shared, been focused on the Mediterranean and the Atlantic as
the most likely sites.

We have seen how
much of their life these specialists devote to carrying on their research and
finally get the proof they have been long searching for. Astronauts have gone into space and landed on
the moon, surely experienced divers can locate Atlantis and show the world
that Atlantis was more than a figment of a great philosopher’s
imagination. It would be interesting to
see what comes to the surface in the future.

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